I could have mohawked her pubes.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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