I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
This is classic penis vs brain.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
