Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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