So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize