put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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