i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
