hotel room ftw
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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