they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
