Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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