Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
