What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
