Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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