i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
