And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I just forgot I was standing up.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
