I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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