Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
