I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
