Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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