i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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