i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
