Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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