i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
