At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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