Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
