I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
