Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
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Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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