this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
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you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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