the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
