So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
did i just pee glitter
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