Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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