ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize