that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
