wake up i wanna do it froggy style
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
