I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
