The maid of honor just puked.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
