I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
