I wish you could order shots online.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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