the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
