So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
where am i from again
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
