Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize