It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
