She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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