you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
