Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
