i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
