you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
