too bad you live with your parents still
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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