You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
