You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
The power of my boobs compel you
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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