rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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