Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Randomize
