Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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