As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
